Outwit Your Saboteurs

New Year – Same Old You. Time to Outwit Your Inner Saboteurs

Tis the season for New Year's resolutions- do you ever wonder why you have such a hard time creating a new habit or starting something new? The change management pundits declare that when the ‘Why’ (to change) is strong enough, you will figure out the ‘How.' We get motivated after learning a new skill and having an ‘aha ’moment in a personal development course, only to find our enthusiasm fizzling out after a few weeks. As our initial passion fades, we turn to using willpower. When this gets too hard to keep up, we lose sight of our ‘Why’ and quietly quit. Sound familiar?

This also relates to any behaviour we might want to change. Let's say you are the glass ½ empty type, and your default automatic response to requests from others is to say “no." Over time, people begin to see you as Dr. No. After getting passed over for promotions and never being included in staff functions, you decide that maybe something about you needs to change. It takes very little effort being Dr. No (he or she has had years of practice saying no to everything), but considering a different response takes a lot of effort. Unless your ‘Why’ to change your behaviour is compelling, your inner Saboteur voices will tell you it is too hard to change – and after a brief trial, they convince you to stay as Dr. No. The status quo is easier and more familiar. Your Saboteurs are happy when you listen to them.

I have learned that the power to change our behaviour starts with insights and new perspectives but that they are just the beginning of a long journey. Even though we started with a strong ‘Why’ and some positive insight and motivation, a piece of the puzzle is missing. Insight alone is not enough; it takes deliberate action, repetition, and patience for change to occur. These are the ‘Hows’ to change.

  Getting Started: Truths and Tips

1- Insights and ‘aha’ moments create an initial surge of motivation, which fades if not reinforced by consistent and intentional action.

Find your compelling and exciting 'Why.' Write it down; imagine life when you are Dr. Possibility 2.0, or whatever you decide you want to change, or a new habit you want to embrace. Look back every week and notice your progress. This keeps adding fuel to your motivation.

2- In this example, being Dr. No is a powerful habit. You won't overcome her well-rehearsed tendencies with willpower alone. You must find new ways to strengthen yourself, notice when she shows up, pause, and choose a different response. This is hard at first, but it gets easier.

Practice, practice, practice—take small steps at first. Say yes a little more, and notice how that works for you and the people around you.

3- Notify your inner Saboteur voices that there’s a new ‘you’ in town. Create a new name for yourself, like Dr. Possibility. Have some fun with it. Progress will feel slow at times, but Dr. No can be weakened, and Dr. Possibility will begin to emerge.  

Celebrate every day when you practice and every time you pause and choose a different response. Even the small victories will add up over time. Your Saboteurs hate it when you are transforming and having fun. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself when you slip up.

 4- Lasting change takes time. Sorry to say, there is no quick fix, and there will be ups and downs

as you learn along the way.

 Anticipate resistance. Your inner Saboteurs will resist change and start to get desperate once they realize you don’t need them anymore. They will tell you to quit. Tell them to buzz off and celebrate whenever you do that. If you are experiencing resistance, it means you are on the right track, expanding your comfort zone and learning.  

5—Your ‘Why’ must be strong enough for change to occur. Create a clear mental vision of why this is important and the future version of who you will become because of your efforts.

Get serious and get support. Find a coach, an accountability partner, or a supportive community to help you maintain your motivation. Change is not easy – but you have done hard things before, right?

As a coach, I help individuals discover new insights, set clear goals, and envision a better future. However, insights without deliberate action, strong motivation, and a clear vision result in no growth. Transformational growth will require rewiring your old automatic habits. This is possible with faith, patience, practice, support, and time. The effects will last a lifetime—and you are worth it!

Go ahead, get started and create a new positive habit or try something new - a better you awaits.

Dr. Bill